Parenting Tools - Myths of Sexual Abuse

Myths of Sexual Abuse
by Ron Huxley

The subject of sexual abuse is steeped in misconceptions.
Its publicity and media attention may have produced
stereotypical myths about what constitutes sexual abuse.
Six myths have been identified here:

Myth #1 - The total stranger represents the greatest
potential danger to the child. In reality, these offenders
account for less than 25% of the cases. Children are
sexually abused or assaulted four out of five times by a
person known to them. This person might be their parent,
stepparent, parent's boyfriend, sibling, other relative,
neighbor, friend of the family, classmate, babysitter,
landlord, doctor, teacher or preacher.

Myth #2 - Physical trauma is the main concern because
children are usually severely hurt. Actually, violent attacks
and forced penetration occur in only 5% of the cases.
Force is rarely used to sexually maltreat a young child or
adolescent. Unfortunately, the psychological damage may
have much worse trauma on the child.

Myth #3 - It's more difficult for the child to get over a sexual
assault than for an adult. If the abuse does not occur more
than once and if it is handled appropriately by adults,
chances are that the child victim will adjust to the trauma at
a faster rate than the adult will. It is true that children tend
to become more withdrawn than older victims do.

Myth #4 - Child victims come from lower socio-economic
families. Levels of family income and education are not
indicators of sexual abuse. Middle and upper class families
are more capable of concealing the effects of their neglect
and abuse. Sexual abuse happens with any child
regardless of age, race, or neighborhood. Offenders are
usually of the same race and economic level. The offence
occurs in the vicinity of the child's home or the home of the
offender. And lastly, boys are subjected to abuse almost as
frequently as girls are.

Myth #5 - Most cases of child sexual abuse are reported. In
reality, very few cases are reported. You only hear about
the most violent or sensational cases. When the abuse
involves a relative, you are less likely to have that case
reported. Reasons for not reporting will be discussed more
in the section under reporting responsibilities.

Myth #6 - The child victim is somehow the cause - directly
or indirectly - of the sexual abuse by seducing the offender,
fantasizing the molestation or exaggerating the injury when
the genitals were merely touched. While a child may seek
attention or love through contact, or just plain curiosity, or
perhaps excitement over sharing forbidden sexual feelings,
the responsibility for the molestation rests with the offender.
While it may appear that the child is a willing participant, he
or she may be submitting because it seems the only way to
cope. If the child is emotionally, physically and financially
dependent on the offender, the abuse may be tolerated out
of fear, guilt or love.

The definition of abuse is confused with myths, stereotypes
and misconceptions. It is also more complex and varied
than being merely a case of physical abuse or neglect. It
also refers to emotional deprivation and sexual molestation
by members close to the child. Maltreatment is not a
respecter of persons. It happens to any child regardless of
age, race or income level.

Click here to learn about Ron Huxley's
Parenting Toolbox and how to obtain
more of his expert advice on parenting,
anger management, and other mental
health issues.

Anger Management Groups
led by Dr. Lyle Becourtney, licensed psychologist