Parenting Tools - School Daze

School Daze
by Ron Huxley

Some children find school an exhilarating challenge,
while others are overwhelmed. Parents of young
children can help them by being more involved in
school. If you have the time or a flexible work
schedule, you can participate in the classroom one
day a week. This affords you the opportunity to
observe your child and to help the teacher, who
probably has his or her hands full. You can see what
problems your child has adjusting to the school
routines and find ways, by modeling the teacher, to
help your child. Your presence also gives the
younger child a feeling of security to know mom or
dad is close by. Unfortunately some parents do not
have this flexibility to take off a day and participate
in their child's classroom. You can still stay involved
by attending parent/teacher conferences, calling the
teacher periodically to see how your child is doing,
and keeping informed about overall school events
as well as your child's individual performance.

Parents can also reduce their child's school daze by
helping them learn good study skills and overcome
homework malaise. Self-discipline can be a difficult
trait to build, but it is crucial to academic success.
While IQ is important, a child's feeling of confidence
in herself and her ability to master a subject is also
critically important. Make sure your child knows how
to study and finds it a positive, rewarding
experience. You can do this by using the "Homework
Hassles" parenting tool. In addition, you should
encourage children's natural curiosity to learn.
Provide opportunities to discover new things. Get
excited about your child's projects, both at home
and school. Post school work on the refrigerator
door as if they are pieces of famous artwork. And
talk regularly with your child about his feelings about
school. Is he afraid of another student? Does he
think the teacher is nice or mean? What is it like
riding the bus, or eating school cafeteria food, or
playing at recess? Who are his friends and why
does he like them? Even busy parents can find time
for these discussions.

Use communication parenting tools to validate a
child's feelings about school without getting caught
up in them at the same time. Remember that
empathizing with a child (hearing about feelings and
acknowledging their validity) is different from
sympathizing with a child (feeling what they feel, be it
mad, overwhelmed, or dazed). The former allows the
parent to help solve problems while the latter get
parents caught up emotionally in the problem.

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