Telling Kids About Divorce? Avoid These Mistakes
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
Getting divorced or separated. Not sure how to tell your kids?
Learn the most common mistakes parents make when having
the "divorce talk" so you can spare your children from
unnecessary emotional trauma.
Getting psyched up to tell your children about your pending
divorce -- or separation? Not sure what to say? When to say
it? How to say it? What to expect after the conversation? What
to do next? How do deal with your special circumstances?
What therapists, mediators, attorneys, clergy and other
professionals suggest you do and don't do to make things
better all around? Well, you're not alone.
Having the "divorce talk" with a child you love is one of the
toughest conversations you'll ever have. Shouldn't you be
prepared?
Professionals all agree on some of the most common
mistakes parents make when bringing up divorce or
separation. These include:
* asking children to bear the weight of making decisions or
choosing sides
* failing to remind children that none of this is in any way their
fault
* forgetting to emphasize that Mom and Dad will still always be
their Mom and Dad -- even after divorce!
* confiding adult details to children in order to attract their
allegiance or sympathy
* neglecting to repeatedly remind children that they are safe,
innocent and very much loved
* failing to explain clearly that everything is going to be okay!
These are just some of the most common messages that
parents fail to convey because they're just not prepared --
and most probably quite scared!
If you're about to tackle this tough conversation -- or you know
someone who is - there's help you can depend on to simplify
the process. Don't wing it unprepared. You wouldn't go on
vacation or plan a party without advanced preparation. Why
tackle one of the most important and emotionally charged
talks you'll ever have with your children without giving it just as
much - if not more - thought and attention?
If you're not sure what to say and how to say it in age-
appropriate language, there are many resources available to
help you. Therapists and mediators provide excellent
personal guidance. Collaborative divorce attorneys (those
who specialize in creating non-adversarial divorce solutions)
can be of great assistance at this time. So can clergy, school
Guidance Counselors and parenting experts. There are many
articles and books written on the subject as well.
One digital guidebook that was just launched on the internet
provides a unique approach through the creation of a
personalized family storybook - prepared in advance - with
photos and fill-in-the-blanks templates. To learn more about
How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-
Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children - with Love!
visit http://www.AngerManagementGroups.
com/DivorceHowToTellTheKids.php.
However you approach this challenging conversation, be
prepared. Understand the effects - both emotionally and
psychologically - this news can have on your children, and
learn how to avoid the common mistakes parents can make
when they haven't done their homework in advance. You and
your children can survive -- and even thrive after divorce.
Think before you leap and give your family a sound foundation
on which to face the changes ahead with security,
compassion and love.
About The Author
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator
and author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids …
about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to
Preparing Your Children -- with Love! The book provides
fill-in-the-blank templates for customizing a personal family
storybook that guides children through this difficult transition
with optimum results.
© Rosalind Sedacca 2008. All rights reserved.
Learn the most common mistakes parents make when having
the "divorce talk" so you can spare your children from
unnecessary emotional trauma.
Getting psyched up to tell your children about your pending
divorce -- or separation? Not sure what to say? When to say
it? How to say it? What to expect after the conversation? What
to do next? How do deal with your special circumstances?
What therapists, mediators, attorneys, clergy and other
professionals suggest you do and don't do to make things
better all around? Well, you're not alone.
Having the "divorce talk" with a child you love is one of the
toughest conversations you'll ever have. Shouldn't you be
prepared?
Professionals all agree on some of the most common
mistakes parents make when bringing up divorce or
separation. These include:
* asking children to bear the weight of making decisions or
choosing sides
* failing to remind children that none of this is in any way their
fault
* forgetting to emphasize that Mom and Dad will still always be
their Mom and Dad -- even after divorce!
* confiding adult details to children in order to attract their
allegiance or sympathy
* neglecting to repeatedly remind children that they are safe,
innocent and very much loved
* failing to explain clearly that everything is going to be okay!
These are just some of the most common messages that
parents fail to convey because they're just not prepared --
and most probably quite scared!
If you're about to tackle this tough conversation -- or you know
someone who is - there's help you can depend on to simplify
the process. Don't wing it unprepared. You wouldn't go on
vacation or plan a party without advanced preparation. Why
tackle one of the most important and emotionally charged
talks you'll ever have with your children without giving it just as
much - if not more - thought and attention?
If you're not sure what to say and how to say it in age-
appropriate language, there are many resources available to
help you. Therapists and mediators provide excellent
personal guidance. Collaborative divorce attorneys (those
who specialize in creating non-adversarial divorce solutions)
can be of great assistance at this time. So can clergy, school
Guidance Counselors and parenting experts. There are many
articles and books written on the subject as well.
One digital guidebook that was just launched on the internet
provides a unique approach through the creation of a
personalized family storybook - prepared in advance - with
photos and fill-in-the-blanks templates. To learn more about
How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-
Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children - with Love!
visit http://www.AngerManagementGroups.
com/DivorceHowToTellTheKids.php.
However you approach this challenging conversation, be
prepared. Understand the effects - both emotionally and
psychologically - this news can have on your children, and
learn how to avoid the common mistakes parents can make
when they haven't done their homework in advance. You and
your children can survive -- and even thrive after divorce.
Think before you leap and give your family a sound foundation
on which to face the changes ahead with security,
compassion and love.
About The Author
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator
and author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids …
about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to
Preparing Your Children -- with Love! The book provides
fill-in-the-blank templates for customizing a personal family
storybook that guides children through this difficult transition
with optimum results.
© Rosalind Sedacca 2008. All rights reserved.
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Other Articles of Interest
Anger Management Techniques
for Divorced Parents -- and Others!
Before You Divorce – Be Prepared
to Tell the Kids
Disciplining Children through
Divorce: Limit their Behavior but
Not their Thoughts
When Children of Divorce Act Out
-- Caring Parents Step Up!
Anger Management Techniques
for Divorced Parents -- and Others!
Before You Divorce – Be Prepared
to Tell the Kids
Disciplining Children through
Divorce: Limit their Behavior but
Not their Thoughts
When Children of Divorce Act Out
-- Caring Parents Step Up!
Children and Divorce
Guidebook on how to tell your kids
about the divorce.
Divorce Tips for Men
Insider secrets and strategies that
men must know to win their divorce!
Divorce Help for Women
Step-by-step guide for women to
plan and execute their divorce.
Stop Your Divorce
Unlock the secrets to save your
marriage and stop your divorce.
Children of Divorce
Don’t let your child suffer in your
divorce - take positive action now!
Guidebook on how to tell your kids
about the divorce.
Divorce Tips for Men
Insider secrets and strategies that
men must know to win their divorce!
Divorce Help for Women
Step-by-step guide for women to
plan and execute their divorce.
Stop Your Divorce
Unlock the secrets to save your
marriage and stop your divorce.
Children of Divorce
Don’t let your child suffer in your
divorce - take positive action now!
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