Parenting Tools - Building a Harmonious Home

Building a Harmonious Home
by Ron Huxley

The old adage of the "family that plays together, stays
together" rings so true when we are talking about having a
harmonious home. The key to building a strong family is
simple: Spend time together! How you spend time or the
amount of time spent together is not as important as just
doing it on a consistent basis.

Research has demonstrated that children who have a
close relationship with their parents are more likely to
resist peer pressures that want to seduce them into illegal
substance use and criminal acts. The foundations of a
healthy conscience and a moral code have direct links to a
warm and loving attachment to a parenting figure.

There is no magic to developing a close relationship
with children. Parents can institute daily or weekly
traditions or rituals for time spent together. The content of
the time may vary as children get older and their interests
change but the need for time together will not change. Have
a regular movie night or nightly book reading. Celebrate
birthdays and special events. Attend church services and
social events together. Offer to volunteer together at a
homeless shelter or fundraising event. Take walks or play
games. And never forget the importance of just talking with
a child in the car or at the dinner table. Ask them about
their day and then "be quiet" while they talk. Nothing shuts
down a child like judgmental responses or unwanted advice.

A lot of parents tell me that their teens don't want to spend
time together with them. That may be what they say, on the
outside, but that does not mean they don't need to spend
time with their parents. The type of activities that they are
interested in may change but their need for positive adult
interaction does not stop. The emotional roller coaster of
adolescence requires as much, if not more, parental
guidance. A softer, more patient approach to time spent
together will be required for teenagers. Make every effort to
engage them in conversations about life and their views of
it without judgment. You will be surprised at the amount of
information you get from these informal discussions. At this
point you can lovingly and gently offer alternatives and
more thought provoking ideas. Teens need to feel that your
ideas are really their ideas or they will often reject them
outright.

Whatever you do, don't let work, society, or your child's age
become a barrier to spending time with your child. Quality
and quantity time are the keys to building a strong,
harmonious home.

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