Testimonial from Struggling Mom

Testimonial from Struggling Mom
I always had an anger problem, but never really realized it until I gave birth to my daughter who is now 7 years old. I realized I needed help when my daughter said, “Mommy, why are you always yelling at me?” At that time, she was 6 years old and I said to myself, “What does she know?” Then I thought about it a lot and saw myself in a situation I didn't like. Child Protective Services (CPS) got involved at that point which was about one year ago. I KNEW I needed to handle myself more appropriately.

So on my own, I decided to get help. At first I was VERY against it for many reasons. My main reason was, “It's not my fault, it’s more about what's wrong with the world.”  After a few classes I began to change my tune, and remind you that I had STRONGLY DISAGREED with almost everything everyone including Dr. B had said. Dr. B had some VERY good points of advice which I love. For instance, learning new ways to manage your anger is like learning to brush your teeth with your opposite hand. It will feel awkward at first, but eventually will get much easier with practice. Old habits can eventually be broken. I took that line with me everywhere.

Now about nine months later I realize that I have changed. I believe I changed for myself and no one else. I used to tell stories about how CPS has no clue to what I’m about and that they had no right doing what they did to me. I had to quickly fix that problem because all it was causing was me being upset 99.9% of the time and acting out, taking it out on my daughter for no good reason. Funny because I look back and say WOW, I did all this on my own and now I have come real far and I'm so super proud of myself.

The other day I had group and Dr. B mentioned that I am no longer talking about issues between me and my daughter, which is the main reason I joined this group in the first place. I replied to Dr. B that I guess this class/group has helped me see reality as I’m getting upset less often and now know how to handle my situations much better. Yeah, that's it. I now know how to think before I react. Yes I still am the first one to say that when in an actual situation, it is VERY, VERY hard to take into consideration to think before you react. It is so much easier to react, but on the other hand by thinking first I am in less trouble and I have a better sense of life and how to handle issues with life, driving, children, and reality.

I would recommend this class for many, many reasons. I also took a parenting class, drug addiction class and so forth and so on, which were all New York State run. I found the most help to be with Dr. B’s Anger Management class. At the beginning of this story, I said I was TOTALLY AGAINST this class. Nine months later, I’m ALL for this class and it would even be a great idea if they could have a class like this in the schools. I believe it is VERY HELPFUL. You might initially disagree with everything, but in the end you will think about what everyone says and take it into consideration. I would recommend this class to ANYONE and EVERYONE. PLEASE do not think you are the only one out there with problems because we ALL have issues we can work on.  We are not living in a perfect world......

RBM (9/18/08)

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